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31 May 07: Update Still here, just busy. Will update after weekend. Why do my accomplishments always happen in the wrong things, and not in the essential ones? 27 May 07: Yup, Flu It's the real thing, it seems: throat is even more sore, and an overall feeling of weakness persists. Nevertheless, I had to drop by at the SCA Sunday meeting to forward the key, which I did. Travel fever is definitely up - though I still don't have anything to wear for the Coronation weekend (I have my old silk bliaut for the court and feast, but nothing else). Tomorrow, study matters and being ill. The day after, baking with Mom. Have to get well ASAP. 26 May 07: Another Flu Seems kinda unfair: I'm ill again, and so have to miss stuff when stuff would be happening. Not like I wouldn't have sat home enough lately... Good things this week: took care of the passport thing, and will get it well in time before the coronation trip. Made it to the group meeting on Monday and felt much better afterwards; also noticed that thinking has been happening, because I had lots to say about my gradu material. So I can dare contact with teachers again. Bad things: I didn't dare, anyway. Just didn't get around to it. Was still tired. Couldn't get up early. Whatever. I so wish I was functional. 20 May 07: Back To The Fight (While Thinking About Books) Last week was still not good for actually getting up and working, but now I have to get a grip. Up tomorrow at seven, lots of official stuff, lots of study stuff to arrange, and then to study group meeting at one. This is obligatory, all of it. Went to the larp. The cyberpunk genre was fun for a change, after such a long time with none, and I didn't panic about my appearance or anything, but all in all, I didn't happen to have an earthshattering experience. It was okay, but I had expected a little more, particularly in regard to props and the scenery. And it would be nice to have a game where characters are in bars all the time and the soft drinks would not run out too soon (all too soon in this case). Some of my contacts were great - the girls in the band in particular - some were not so good - there was no player for my character's boyfriend. And there were some really cool moments. I looked like this (picture by Siri). I was pretty much happy with the look, except that the lipstick was the wrong colour (it looks good in this picture, but believe me, it wasn't - and my thighs, on the other hand, look ginormous). (And my shoulders were not that hunched - I had a stand-up collar that didn't stand up well except where the braid kept it up...) Slept most of today, obviously (when would I ever get enough sleep the night before a game?!). Then went to the SCA Sunday circle, where Helena talked about hoods and veils to a group that was delightedly numerous! It's so great that we're getting some new people in Hucca now! The day was beautiful, and I am still drunk with the flush of new summer. Now I need to go work on those thighs a little, with the help of the dog and summer. (Oh yeah. The mooncup? A great invention - no more stinking pads or byflows! But how the heck does one get it out without acrobatics? I don't seem to be able to get the pressure off no matter what. Should I snip the tail off and set it lower? Or something?) (Later) There was a... meme, I guess... on a movie blog
I read occasionally, asking for your five favourite novels written
in the past fifteen years. I tried coming up with such a list, but
I just couldn't. But if someone asked me for recommendations with
those conditions, I might offer these for example: And I realise it's rather fantasy-oriented, but if I could cheat up to 25 years, I would have included Possession by A.S.Byatt, The Book of the New Sun by Gene Wolfe and The Liar by Stephen Fry. But possibly also Rats and Gargoyles by Mary Gentle. Or I could say, "Anything by these authors, and also by Iain M. Banks, Umberto Eco (though Queen Loana was a huge disappointment), Patricia McKillip..." And I'm absolutely certain I should remember some Spanish or Latin American books to go there, and French, too. Shameful. Another. Five books I must read and should have read, like,
ages ago: Oh yeah. And more poetry. And more Finnish books. And French. In French. My life is interfering with what's important! 18 May 07: Summer <3 Phoenix + summer = OTP!! And it's not because of vacations or anything. This time of the year just raises me into ecstasy just by the smells and the sounds and the green. I'm practically alive only when there are leaves in the trees. It doesn't feel at all difficult to walk the dog. As to the game, I've resigned myself to the state of the affairs and will grind through with a fixed grin. It'll have to do. At least I've got everything I can reasonably need for it (I decided that coloured contacts would not be a justifiable expense, and my fake braid is fine as it is; I have some new silver-coloured jewellery, and my clothes will just have to do). Oh well, a computer phone would have been a nice touch, but since I didn't start searching for one on loan early enough, I'll just have to make do. Now to meet my love out there! P.S. I finally got around to buying a mooncup, too. 17 May 07: Migraine Had the worst migraine in ten years this morning. I couldn't even open my eyes in a room with heavy, dark curtains without feeling worse, and looking at the cell phone's lighted view was impossible. Luckily, it eased up in the afternoon, at least enough for me to be able to send some messages and then take ordinary painkillers to get rid of the rest of it. Screwed up today's plans in a bad way. (I can't figure anything else for a reason than a half-cup of red wine at Kaisa's birthday party yesterday. But just a half-cup, while I've certainly had more at dinners with Mom&co? Maybe it depends on the particular brand, or something.) 15 May 07: Should Write This Out, I Guess ...But don't wanna. Another game next weekend, another face-to-face with oneself about weight and food and health and appearance. None of which has progressed, really. Granted, I'm not quite as fat as at some times in the past years, but I'm still chubby. And still not able to accept it. And it doesn't help that I've eaten extremely healthily today, because once again I don't have enough time to make a noticeable difference, and then I'll just slide back again. And I'm tired and weak and not up to exercise, and besides, it's half past two am anyway. Right now, I'm terribly envious of an acquaintance with problems of their own - because I'd give anything to have their problems!! And besides, they're having quite enough of a pity party gathering around them anyway. I'm jealous, too. Yes. Which, of course, makes me a bad person. And studies? What studies? I've got far enough to bring one of the (preliminary) books (that I planned to finish months ago and probably won't even need) with me to the computer. I'm able to look at it, but not yet open it. I hate the world, and I hate myself. Some people get therapists that actually get results, why didn't I? Understanding doesn't help if one can't put it into action. One doesn't have to be like this forever, of course. One can change, of course. But what if right now change is too much? It wasn't supposed to be. 13 May 07: Mother's Day etc. May possibly be slightly on the way up. Could have chosen to be social last night, watching the Eurovision song contest in company. Chose to watch it with Mom, because I knew bro could not make it for Mother's Day and I'd have to leave in the afternoon. So Mother's Day was uneventful, in a good way. Had managed to find DVDs that they didn't yet have for a gift. Roses were pretty. We went for a long walk with Mom before noon and picked flowers. SCA Sunday circle was okay, too, and I delivered Moira's GFDs, all done, finished and well-fitting now. So that is definitely good. Getting a grip on the study thing, not so much. And there's that larp next weekend, the thinking of which would be so much more fun. 09 May 07: Non-functional Why can't this start getting better already??? No news. 07 May 07: Wait, What... ...There's going to be a movie of The Dark Is Rising??!! How come this is the first I hear of it?? Unfortunately, the information gleaned from the comments does not seem promising. The Stantons are changed into Americans living in England, and there's not even enough of them (so what happened to the "seventh son of a seventh son" thing, huh??); and I'm not at all sure what I think of Ian McShane as Merriman. However, at least he's proven himself a capable actor, and it's got Christopher Eccleston as the Rider (and Gregory Smith, though probably wasted). For me, this is much bigger news than anything about The Golden Compass. TDIR books are wonderful, and were some of the first fantasy books I devoured after LOTR - remember, I was eight when I read the LOTR and before that, had no concept of fantasy as a genre... I've always had a very emotional and personal relationship to those books. Unfortunately, it looks like it's going to be closer to the travesty they did with the Earthsea books than the big treatment The Golden Compass is getting. Such a shame. 02 May 07: Another Day, Another Try Nothing significant to report, but still here, and kicking again. I hope. Been having these elaborate dreams again lately. Last night, several. The most interesting was the last one, in which our long-running Helsinki Masquerade chronicle was back, though sporting loads of new characters and new helper-writers (who had gone quite rogue with the characters they'd introduced). Maybe it was some sort of an amalgam of the Helsinki chronicle and Åbo by Night - but the trolls were overkill even so, I must say... There was a funeral, and most of the time was spent trying to get friendly people to tell me what it was about (because they were trying to protect me from the truth, which I guessed), the rest trying to get the new, over-powerful extras to leave me alone... The other dreams concerned kittens, psychologic evaluations, and once more a big mansion where our family lived (but it wasn't at all as much fun as I had expected, because I wasn't allowed to have an extra room for my library). The kittens were the best part (duh!). (Night) Right, then! I've finally got my flight tickets booked for the Drachenwald Summer Coronation in June. And they were reasonably cheap, too. I'm going by way of boat to Stockholm, but on the way back I'm flying from Bremen to Tampere, which means I have (or get) to spend the Sunday sightseeing in Lubeck (the flight leaves so early I needed to take the Monday flight). I'm pretty excited, I must say! I've never been to Germany, and it's been years since I've flown anywhere. Now I just need to get a new passport in time... Tomorrow, return to normality, meaning: getting out of the door. |