You can still contact me at svaha@iki.fi

A Proclamation on Anger, Shunning and Other Matters

Let it be known that I am officially angry.

I am angry at shallow, stupid people who suddenly find me infinitely more dangerous than before simply because I have admitted out loud that I suffer from depression.

Just for the record of those who may find themselves in the same room with me with no merciful escape: I am not diagnosed aggressive or dangerous to other people, nor am I suicidal except possibly in some rare cases if excessively drunk, which cases cannot occur at the moment because of the medication (not that I prefer getting drunk in any case). I don't particularly look forward to burdening other people and ruining the party with detailed descriptions of my problems, though naturally I will answer if someone wants to talk about that particular subject. If you cannot concentrate on anything but the fact of my depression, like a missing limb that you keep staring at and being bothered with, then that is your problem, not mine. I can limp along quite nicely, thank you.

And despite my fears and low self-confidence, I like people and their company and hearing how they are doing. Contact. Connection. Giving, for what I can, and I cannot give if you don't give me the chance to do so.

If you are too afraid of catching something shameful and scary from me to come close enough, then that, again, is your loss.

(A diary entry, slightly edited, from Nov 05 2002)